I thought that everything would turn out right
But I just realise that I've been faking and avoiding

Things still stay the same as it was
It will never change
I don't know what should I do

I can't help but to think
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make the feelings stop

I wanted you be there when I fall
I wanted you to see me through it all
I wanted you to show me what I need
I wanted you to know just how down deep
I wanted you
(INA Lyrics)

I'm way too exhausted after beeing out the almost the whole day
Can't I have peace the moment I got back home
Got a nagged from my dad because of my hair
The feeling of been nagged at is really pissing me off
I tend to get very annoyed and irritated
ARGHHH!!!

Can't wait for Halloween :)
Am still thinking of what to dress up for halloween

When both parties are having problems with one another
try to settle out things peacefully
give in to one another if possible
you would'nt want to lose a close friends
after all you have been together for quite some times

FACE REALITY

Thick and thin
the bad outweighs the good sometimes
hey, that's reality, no, it can't be always be my way

This is the pain that i can barely tolerate
Never thought it'd be this rough
Now when smile in front of people it's a fake
Cause deep inside I'm feeling miserable
Its gonna be a while before I'm okay

Lately I've been thinking about what i can do
I'm so sorry that I couldn't follow through
But I can't go on this way, I've got to stop it
You've been wonderful in all that you can be

Poem for you:
I don’t think you know what you mean to me But you mean a lot
The chance of us not being friends
Is a real long shot

I hate when you’re sad
I love it when you’re happy
Because if your upset
It makes me feel crappy

Thanks for always being there
When I needed you most
If it weren’t for you the chances of me not being here
Would have really come close

I don’t know what I would do
If you weren’t my friend
I don’t think my heart would ever mend

I hope you know I always have your back
Just like you’ve had mine
And it will always stay that way

Until the end of time
We’ll be friends
Hopefully without end
So I just wanna say thanks
Thanks for being more than a friend

GOING THROUGH A WHIRLPOOL OF EMOTIONS

Everyone of us undergoes the stage of changes
Before we went our seperate ways
What are the promise that we made to one another???
In fact have you guys kept your promise???
I feel that you guys are drifting apart and carrying on with your new life/friends
Is meeting up and making your time free for just a few hours that difficult???

My life is just like a rollar coaster
been through ups and down
Its just like a cyle
Guess it has been settled down
But i know that this feeling is gonna be back for sure

Its been a while since I last met up with Faiz

Some things are just meant to be
I just have to accept it
Life still have to goes on

I guess it’s too late now, still I’ve got something to say
I’m sorry that I treated you that way
Time has gone now, and the moment has passed
When I had the chance to try and make us last
it’s no one’s fault by mine…
Couldn’t see the truth, I had those blinded eyes
Gotta get this off my chest while I can

I'm on my bended knees
Asking for forgiveness, while I had the chance to
Don’t know what to say, Know u closed the door,which sent me away
you've gone on your way

Wanna take it back to the place when we first met,
If I could, I’d start all over again
I wouln't make the same mistakes

I'M SORRY
MY REGRET

Things do happen for a reason
So sorry that I couldn't follow through
But I can't go on this way, I've got to stop it

I tell you you're the one
Cause you're the closest friend that i've ever met
So dont you worry i'll never forget you

Mum:
Although you can't be here by my side
I feel you near me when i close my eyes
So i wont let your memory come to an end
When i say forever thats just what i ment

A lesson has been learnt
I've got to learnt from my mistakes

Its feels weird today
Not the usual day I spent in school
Didnt meet up after school, so i guess thats the weird thing

I do know where I stand
You are special in way that I appreciate you, treasure you
Some how I just need attention
I know that you do care, but its hard for you to express oneself
I guess that I'm the type that requires lots of care,love and attention
A selfish person aren't I

To Mum: I really do miss you alot

This can only be as good as we both make it

Yes, sometimes its gonna hurt

we can be as happy as we want to be

But we gotta make it work

Why did i get myself into that trouble???
I should have just go
But I'm just too tired to go

I guess this would be the lesson learnt for me
maybe its karma which is hitting on me
I really hope that everything would be alright
Hope that they will give me another chance???

It's dooms day on wednesday
I have to face the music like what sarah say
I have to face reality

A sudden change in mood due to this reason
My life is just way to "BEAUTIFOOL"

Its been a long time since I last saw them...
Great catching up a little with them even though its for a while...:)
Finally their exams are over but my sch just started a new semester

Went to Marina barrage with aunt florence, uncle chester, Grams and su
Its like stairs to heaven, then sun, the breeze, cam whoring session there...
we went the 7th storey to have our dinner...steamboat
I had a happy tummy, so after dinner, I met up with the girls again

Slack @ GJC for a while
Heed to forever 21 & Fareast with the girls
had to go off to meet Wei Liang and the rest
I introduce Wei liang & Joanne to B but i guess both parties were shy...haha

Walk around Far east to do shopping
bought shoes & clothes(cotton on)
bump against steph...its also been a while since we went for dance
I'm being the odd one out didnt bought anything at all

Once again thnks to B for giving me encouragement
I have decide to make this decision so I should be happy
but sometimes I don't know why I'm not happy

First week of sch have finally end
Another new week will be starting again
I hate that part...

Right now, I'm seriously broke
Can't touch the money in the card no more
Guess, I have to start saving...I have to cut down...

Yesterday, hang around with them in town
The usual stuff we did, Eat, Slack but this time we did shopping this time round
Bought NUM t-shirt together with them...will be wearing it on monday
wanted to get those sun glasses, but I don't why

Why do I feel like a sorethumb?

Things that did not make my day
1.Gastric pain
2.Nausea

WHY AM I SO STUPID!
scored 2.1 for my GPA, even though i attend class everyday
getting mocked at which eventually I have no confidence in myself
No matter how hard i studied for UT, I still didnt pass that well
ONE WORD TO DESCRIBE ME

!!!STUPID!!!

I can't stay out late as I told you that my dad is strict
When I bid goodbye to you and the rest, What did you have to say that to me???
I was hurt by the word you said to me.
I wanted to join you guys but I can't. I had to be back home

I tried to hold myself not to break down in the train, but somehow tears came out of my eyes.
I never felt this way before
I thought I could hold, while listening to music walking back home, it got even worse, I couldnt take it and I let it all out...
There was no one I can go to besides B
I msg you and there were no reply...I needed someone to talk to but I guess your hp phone is flat plus you are out...I understand

Lot of thing is going through my mind
I can't help but to think
Right now I feel very vulnerable...anytime I might just break down
But I have to put up a strong front infront of my friends...I do not want them to see me in this state...Hope I can
Pray that my eyes give itself away

The start of school which means meeting of new classmates
I miss my previous class real bad...W46M u are being missed
I guess that my current class are seriously damn quiet
but I'm sure that everything would be fine next week???

Been hanging out with them right after school
Hellven, Wei Liang, Eileen, Wilson & me
I guess time passes really fast when I with them
Hanging out, Eating & watching movie is what we best at...XD
Do you guys agree???

Lots of stuff have been going through my mind right now!!!
Would I end up like him???

I'm really really tired
My eyes are about to close soon
Alright i shall stop right here
Till then

Met up with Mr A yesterday afternoon
Travelled all the way to his place to meet him
Ate @ this chinese restaurant - I love the dumplings and the Bao which have soup in it :)
Thanks again for the treat...:)
I will treat you back something when i get my pay

Promised me that you won't pay if i treat u...:)

After lunch,took a bus to CCK
went to arcade to play the usual game we played at DG
It was around 4 plus when we decided to leave because i had to work

I enjoyed hanging out my whole entire afternoon with Mr A...:)