Archibald's Life

2010-10-21T08:12:00.000-07:00

Unexpected News

A shocking new just hit on me today.
Receive a call from Sis telling me that Uncle Gary just passed on due to a heart attack in the states.

My condolences to Mum and Julian(Tan family)
Seriously speaking, I don't really know or how should I help her out
All I can do right now is to pray that what Cousin louisa from australia told me.
I couldn't posibility do anything at the moment.

Although Uncle whom I don't really talk with him that much, maybe a few conversation,
has been there for mum and julian all this years in the states taken care of them. I am grateful towards him even though he's gone.

RIP - Uncle

The only thing now I want my mum is to be happy
Be strong mum
<3 your son

2010-07-17T22:09:00.000-07:00

PHOTO'S TAKEN @ THE STUDIO:)

2010-07-12T09:27:00.000-07:00

BINTAN TRIP IN MIND! :D
I REALLY HOPE THAT I COULD REST MY MIND
A ENVIRONMENT THAT I CAN ENJOY THE NATURE, SEA AND BEAUTIFUL SCENERY
HOPE THAT I'M ALLOW TO GO...:D
CAN'T WAIT!!!

BINTAN HERE I COME!!!
CROSS FINGERS!!!

2010-07-10T19:35:00.000-07:00

Finally got to meet up with WC & R
Great catching up with them during Cino-ing

<3 them <3

I still pondering whether to close this blog of mine and open a new one
...Plenty of memories in it...

WC & R - Should I???

I<3 you both
I guess you may think that I'm crazy...haha
XOXO

2010-06-28T09:36:00.000-07:00

Seeing is believing???

I got to really snap out of it
I don't want to go through it again
I don't want to fight this kind of war

No one really understand the situation I'm in
But I do know that, ONE DAY, I'm able to stand up on my own feet

2010-06-24T09:20:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY A :)
Have a blasting birthday celebration

When Words Fail, Music Speaks

2010-06-20T01:42:00.000-07:00

Cabbing back home while passing by BP somehow make me think back
How I use to travel there often
Indeed, I miss those times
I really do

I wonder how have you been???
Really hope that you are doing well...: )

2010-06-14T09:29:00.000-07:00

Surfing some how relate to my life

Personally speaking, I endured some hard times, but hey, so what? Big deal.

Who the heck hasn't?

Again, just like you, I'm no different

And at the end of the day, who the hell really cares?

My situation happened umpteen years ago. If anything, I was lucky

Darn lucky, in so many ways.

I know that and I appreciate and respect that.

This is one of the main reasons why I do what I do.

I know there are those who've been through worse than I have and never seem to catch a break.

Therefore, I feel that the least I could do is try to offer some of assistance.

2010-06-13T09:40:00.001-07:00

"Everybody Learn From Disaster"

"LIGHTNING DON'T STRIKE THE SAME PLACE TWICE"

It's been a while since I last blogged

I needa some time, letting time do the healing

Enjoy the songs in my blog

1. Hot Chelle Rae - Bleed

2. Mariah Carey ft. Neyo - Angels Cry

3. Jay Sean - War

Till then

XoXo

N.G

2010-05-24T09:10:00.000-07:00

To revive a struggling relationship, there comes a point when we must stop protecting what we have, to allow for what we truly need. Moving forward can mean reaching out, reaching back or reaching balance and while new journey can start with a single step, they can end just as quickly with a single misstep. And even with the healthiest relationship find itself on life support, it’s important to remember, sometimes the wrong prescription is just what the doctor ordered.

2010-05-23T10:12:00.000-07:00

Our action are what set things in motion. But we have to live with that. It hurts me, knowing what I’ve done and that pain is with me all the time. It wouldn’t be that easy, and every day, I fight that. And I am so terrified that one day, I’m not gonna want to fight that anymore. And the next time I hurt somebody, it could be you.

I know you have no reasons to trust or believe me. I really appreciate the second chance. Everyone deserves one. I have been doing everything possible not to face the fact and I don’t have any explanations that are gonna satisfy you.

2010-05-18T18:40:00.000-07:00

If you are what you wear, you better dress the part you want. A few people can do no wrong. Their looks, perfection and they’ve got accessories to match. What most people get tired of the same old looks and they do just anything to get that hot new piece on their own. And then there are those who’ve no vision of their own, thief of fashion will steal the shirt of your back. And always remember appearances can be deceiving. But whatever you wear, always dress to kill.

To be continue...

2010-05-17T08:26:00.000-07:00

When the battle ends,

weapons are put away,

new strategy take shape.

Soldiers decide to stand for themselves,

new alliances are made but there are casualties.

In mattes of love and war,

all weapon cause injuries,
the question is who will live to fight another day?

2010-05-12T01:59:00.000-07:00

FOR NOW
Let the music do the talking

2010-05-10T18:55:00.000-07:00

With enough time, eventually we all see what was right in front of us, and realize no matter how long it took, it was worth the wait. But for some, that time never comes. Instead of healing old wounds the wait just opens new ones time after time

2010-05-08T06:35:00.000-07:00

I am sorry for what has happened between us and I know that I need some help…. your help. For my benefit, I will listen to you because I’m tired. Tired of getting you upset. So therefore the cycle has to stop. I promise it will. Realize I want nothing more than what you want. I realize I’ve been doing it all wrong. I just couldn’t bare see you get hurt and not see that in the long run. But you do have the right to do what you want and what you like. All I ask is for a sign of forgiveness.

2010-05-07T22:31:00.000-07:00

Somethings you do not want to experience

Even though if you don't want to you have to

Every year this very special day - Mother's day

I'm just upset that this very day, I don't get to celebrate

The only thing that I could only do is to wish her thats all

It's been years since I last saw her and I miss her very much

Knowing that she's not doing very well there, as her son I could nothing for her

Poem for you mum

They way I feel I can't explain

The gratitude inside

For all the days and all the nights

Even though You are not by my side

For every hug and every kiss

To send me on my way

For loving me through the hurt

And pain that’s come my way

For holding on to me so tight

That I can barely breathe

For never letting go

Of the hope you hold for my life

For keeping it so close to you heart

All this time

For yelling at me when I'm out of place

For telling me the truth

For forgiving me for what I say

Cause I know it hurts

So now I say what I feel

At this time and day

That mum I LOVE YOU all the time

So happy mothers day

2010-05-04T18:28:00.001-07:00

U did what you could for me
Why do I have high expectation towards you
How selfish am I

I ensure you that this wouldn't happen again
if there's any problem i would just leave you a message
I won't go through a hassle or bother anybody

Sorry A

2010-05-04T02:37:00.000-07:00

There’s an old saying “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me”. Well I now REALIZE that old saying couldn’t be further from the truth. Words hurt very much. They originate from someplace within and when spoken they can have a devastating effect on another human being.

Throughout history we find many teachings on watching our tongue and the spoken word having POWER. Our subconscious picks up on the things you say, whether to yourself or others. There are so many different ways we can deliver what we say to other human beings, our tonality, facial expression and body language. We often take for granted this power that we have. Whether we are trying to prove a point or maliciously trying to hurt another human being.
I believe we should forget about the old saying “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” and remember and embrace “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all”.

I REALIZE how powerful WORDS are. Watch your tongue, speak great words, spread great seeds to others and give birth to new thoughts.

2010-05-01T22:47:00.001-07:00

PICTURE PAINTS A THOUSAND WORDS

2010-04-30T23:12:00.000-07:00

I know you are caught in between

I will put myself in your position

I know you are worried and concerned

Getting number of missed calls from you and even asking L to message me

but the message is from you

I can honestly say, I missed out on so much

Things I wanted to happen that didn’t happened

People I wanted to be with but never got to spend a day with.

All I ever want from you is to be HAPPY

2010-04-30T08:17:00.000-07:00

Thing aint the same as before

I don't know why I feel this way

I feel so miserable

I don't know how should I put it

Plans that we've made change

Everything change

My life, Your Life, EVERYTHING

1 day is all I got

2010-04-27T08:01:00.000-07:00

2010-04-26T10:52:00.000-07:00

School's mundane as usual
Ain't making any progress for lesson
Year 2 ain't easy as you think
I'm Fucking stress, lots of competitor in my class
I don't know whether I can cope in my studies
I feel like giving up

Time checked its 2.31am and here I am blogging
Can't seem to get to sleep
Why?? am I feeling so fucking shit right now
Eyes freaking swollen

Till then

--------------------------------TO BE CONTINUE-----------------------------

2010-04-25T09:10:00.000-07:00

LET THE PICTURES DO THE TALKING

2010-04-23T02:48:00.000-07:00

Why am I feeling this way???

It's weird
The look/stare you gave to me
It feels that I have some kind disease or like a stranger that you have never come across

Question that I have been asking myself
Did I do anything/something wrong to that make you have a bad impression of me thus making me feel in this way???
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why bring me into the picture???
Well, seriously if you people want to compare who's famous,hot, cute and the looks
I'm not a socialite or whatever

People may think that certain person got it takes for it
Well to tell you the damn truth, I don't
I am just a simple person

Till then...

2010-04-23T02:23:00.000-07:00

MY POLOROID PICTURE :)

2010-04-21T04:27:00.000-07:00

Feel like a complete fool, I'm like a joker going round making people laugh
But somehow I just need someone to make me laugh too
Who will that be???

How boring can it get when there's no laughter in life...
It's just like having no colour in your life...

I just wonder what do friends see in me???

2010-04-20T05:16:00.000-07:00

BAD DAY
1) I've cut my hair, I know its short
I appreciate to those who keep comment to themselves, please don't rub it in

Yesterday
1)Wore the similar shirt as this guy
Its common to get similar corporate wear @ G2000
So go round bitching me at the toilet saying: eh same shirt as u

2)Did my RJ, save my RJ and accidentally deleted it. I'm lucky that I've got the time to complete and submit in time.
3)Unable to connect to the internet at starbucks
4)Unable to connect to my house internet

Today
1)Forgotten my ez link card out and heeded back home to collect it
2)Forgot to bring money
3)Handphone is sometimes screw up

Can tmr will be any better???

My fault, My bad
I'm sorry

2010-04-13T10:39:00.000-07:00

Some people got some serious f-ing attitude
The day before yesterday, we were in a group happy joking, laughing our ass off
Today, u were seriously damn f-ing bloody rude

Watch out who are you mixing with
It could be someone who have different kind of faces

2010-04-12T09:34:00.001-07:00

Does it really affect someone when one tries to hint something but actually refers to the other party(indirectly)
Why does one take it so seriously???
If it was me i think i would take it into heart too...

Different thinking I guess
I think that there are many other ways to think about when one is refering to something
Do not just think its A mean its A
there could be other alternative B??? C??? or even D???
Why look at a picture itself rather than getting to know the full story of it

Can I call or name it
Don't judge the book by its cover
or
A Picture paints a thousand words

Can I Say That???

hmm....

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

TO BE CONTINUE

2010-04-10T06:08:00.000-07:00

Something is wrong when I, of all people, feel neglected. I don’t ask for a whole lot.

Is this Jealousy or wants attention???
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My Poloroid Camera just lost its
1st virgin to Mr Teo(As promised)
2nd virgin to the ladies of e37p(Preemal, Hui Min, Alexis & Tessa)
and the list goes on...

Maybe I aint a happy kid after all
Some things may just scare the hell out of you when you get a call
Mood completely change
I fear of losing people in my life after all that we've been through
-----------------------------------------------------------------

:(

2010-04-08T10:49:00.000-07:00

Am happy that I bought myself a Polaroid camera for myself
Although there's a litte regret of me buying it, but i guess it worth it

Right now I have to consider whether to take pictures with the camera as the film ain't cheap at all...

Seat tight and enjoy the pics real soon...:)

Am glad that everythings going smoothly for me:)

There's lots of things I wanna do:
Wish list continues
1 down(Polaroid Camera)
many more to go...

I'm a happy kid now...

2010-03-25T21:18:00.000-07:00

Why???
I don't like the way things going on
I hope that things would fall back in place between you guys

For UT's
I did pretty bad
B,C+,C+,D+E

Are those words meant for me???
I don't know
But I feel that it is...

-------------------------------------------------------------
I promise you
I won't forget the times the tears that I cried
You'll always be the sun in my sky
It may be fate that brings us back to meet again
Someday even though we go separate ways

A:
If the day should come when you need someone
You know that I'll follow
I will be there
Don't ever let there be a doubt in your mind
Cause I'll remember you

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Readers
Even though I have problems in my life
I will get back up
Yes, I'm emotional who break down very easily
There are others who out there suffering out
I shouldn't pity myself cause I consider myself fortunate

It doesn't mean because of one person, It will affect my entire life
Don't judge me because of whatever happens
I may put up a strong front, but who knows that when I'm alone I just break down

TOODLE-OO

2010-03-24T03:17:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had a short chat with M
I cried while chatting with her since its been a while
I don't know what I can do to help her knowing that she's having problems and sick
Knowing that she's having a hard time there
I myself having some problems and I don't want to burden about my problems to her

M:I have not been working lately
Me:Why?
M:Because I hurt my back
Me:Are you ok???
M:But have to walk slowly
M:You know I am getting old
Me:You're only 48
M:Nope I hit onto something when I walk and hurt it
M:Women get older faster
M:After I have given birth to 4 children

Me:How's everything over there???
M:So So
M: So be good ok???
M:I will have to look for a new job
M:I can't go on without working because I need to pay for the house and other things too
M:If not uncle will have to work extra hard
Me:Its hard on you
M:Tough time over here you know with this economy crisis going on
Me:I feel helpless when I couldn't even help you
M:Don't worry about me, just take care of yourself
M:I am very happy
M:I know you are a strong boy, don't depend on other people
Me:Its not like the first time you know me, I'm very emotional and sentitive

Me:Why won't you scold me
M:Why should I scold you
Me: Because I'm a stubborn person
M:You are big enough
M:Just like me
Me:How I wish you were here
M:I wish too, I really miss you guys alot
M:I am so sorry I am not around to be with you
M:I hope I could make up with you
M:I wish you could take a break and visit me

I'm feel hurt and sad

I"M SORRY M
I PROMISE YOU, I WILL BE GOOD AND STUDY HARD
MAKE YOU PROUND

For the time being...I need to find myself back

Till then...

2010-03-23T08:15:00.000-07:00

LIKE I ALWAYS DO

To Be Continue...

2010-03-20T23:20:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 20th Birthday

I apologised to spoil the special day of yours

Please forgive me

And hope that you can understand the situation that I'm currently in

Hope you enjoy the dinner as well as the cake

Stay sweet and loving with Rafael

You've been a great friend

Thanks for beening there for me

Though we don't meet up often

Hope that we still be in contact

ONCE AGAIN

THANK YOU :)

2010-03-19T21:11:00.001-07:00

I just got banned from my job
Firstly the boss is so unreasonable
I could'nt care less about this job
Fuck it

As much as I'm hurt about what happened, there's nothing else I can do
Because the more I think, the painful it will be
(Extract from B's)

A time out is all I could give myself

And Grams, Get well soon...
MUM, I NEED U, Its been a while since I last saw and contact you

till then

2010-03-19T00:33:00.000-07:00

2010-03-18T22:40:00.000-07:00

How do you feel when you are being forgotten???
Am I that transparent to you knowing that I'm right infront of you???

I hate this tears in my eyes
I hate myself the way I feel about you everytime

Guess that karma hits back on me
I feel completely lost not knowing who to turn to at this moment

2010-03-17T11:19:00.000-07:00

THERE ARE THINGS THAT WE DON'T WANT TO HAPPEN BUT HAVE TO ACCEPT, THINGS WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW BUT HAVE TO LEARN, AND PEOPLE WE CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT BUT HAVE TO LET GO

SOMETIMES ENDING THINGS IS LIKE TAKING COUGH SYRUP.
IT TASTE TERRIBLE AND YOU RATHER NOT TAKE IT, IN THE END ITS WHAT YOU NEEDED TO MAKE EVERYTHING FEEL BETTER

GGG: I know that this year aint a year for all of us...I'm just 8 digits away, call or text...I will be there for you guys...

2010-03-14T10:41:00.000-07:00

My leg is seriously in pain...
Gosh, its killing me...
Hope tmr the pain will be gone...

Be gone

2010-03-12T08:05:00.000-08:00

I think I should just mind my own business and not help others
Helping others knowing that they are busy, and what did I get in the end
bad attitude and scolding
Just focus on the things that I have to do and not get in people's way:(

2010-03-11T07:10:00.000-08:00

Dear Diary

I'm back from chalet
From Sun till today
This few days have been a tiring week

Busy working for lenovo Mon - Next Tues(expect sunday -BQT)
Travelled all the way from pasir ris to woodlands
1 mrt 3 buses we took(transportation cost alot)
Everyday have to wake up at 5 am

Lenovo seems to be very tiring job even though I am doing the admin job
issuing of invoice, payment, filing etc
Money collected have to tally with the documents that were typed in the excel
Handling huge some of money could be a headache for me, me and Brenda(the main incharge) would be responsible if there's missing of money.

Jason the over all in charge seems to be a weird person
Sometimes, he's joking while sometimes his face is as black as " BAO QING TIAN" his nick name
Admin is the most horrible job, when an invoice is wrongly filled up thus we have to void.
Got scolded from him telling me off saying "do not let them take the invoice, ask them for the model of laptop that they will be selling and issue the right invoice. "you think I've got lots of invoice to spare"
Somehow working life is like that, even though its not your fault, we would often get scolding.

Congratulations to
Wei liang, Hellven and Eileen whom sold more than 25 laptop
U guys have work so hard pushing sales and thus earn a movie vocher
Keep up the good work and maybe you guys could sell another 25 sets???
Money going into your pocket

If there's any grammatic/vocabulary errors
I apologise, heavy eyes
Alright, I shall stop and heed the sack
Tmr will be working
Till then
Tmr will be better:)

To be continue...

I'm tired

2010-03-05T21:01:00.000-08:00

How do you like to be treated by other people?
What words would you use to describe someone who is kind to others in spite of how they're
being treated by others?

Sometimes we have to fight temptations that seem irresistible, a match we can't win unless someone steps in the ring with us.
I do admit that I have trouble controling myself(the thoughts in me)
I think of others first rather than myself
I can say that I'm not dealing it properly

There is a saying

"A person without self-control is as defenseless as a city with broken-down walls"

It hurts a lot and it feels like my heart is crush into pieces

Why of all person, you are the special one???

TO BE CONTINUE...

2010-03-05T07:50:00.000-08:00

Complicated:

It’s the worst feeling in the world to love and hate someone all at the same time.
and it’s hard to watch things change when all you want is for them to stay the same.

It’s funny but stupid how you want everything and nothing at the same time.

It’s crazy when you want to let go, but you keep holding on.
and when you want to move on, but you’re stuck right where you started.

When feelings come and go and you can’t decide what you want.

when you have so many things to say but you don’t know where to start.

when you want them in your life so bad, but all you can do is push them farther and farther away.

It’s so hard to think back to how things used to be and look at it now and realize that things are different and they may never be the same.

You tell yourself it’s not worth it, but if it really didn’t matter, you wouldn’t spend so much time thinking about it.

2010-03-05T06:06:00.000-08:00

On My Own
We're probably looking forward to being on our own someday, not having someone else tell you what to do all the time?
Does independence mean being free from every rule?
Do some rules actually make you more free?

I have been thinking alot lately
Somehow I have been thinking for myself but didnt spare a thought for others especially _
A thought on my own turns out to cause nothing but trouble
I know that I think alot, but I really hope you would understand the message that I'm getting to you

No worries, I could only blame myself
Thoughts of mine would wander about and go even far out of the picture
I need to clarify things out before making assumption
I'm sorry _, I do not understand the situation that you are in
I will be more understanding from now onwards

I feel so useless, when I couldn't even lend a helping hand
Rejections makes me feel even more useless, as if there is really nothing I could do for a friend

I do not want to have any misunderstanding against one another anymore
It just hurts so bad when we fall out with one another

I don't know who to turn to @ this moment
How do I contact you ever since the incident happen and when you are busy???

A complicated mind and life
"Is connecting with someone really this complicated or do we make it worse?"
------Peyton Sawyer------

2010-03-04T08:10:00.000-08:00

HIDDEN MESSAGE:

Will this day ever arrive???

Will the person I least expected come up and do this to me???

Things aint going well for me:(

2010-03-04T07:46:00.000-08:00

BUSY SCHEDULE AND HECTIC WEEK FOR ME NEXT WEEK ONWARDS

1)CHALET
2)LAPTOP ROAD SHOW
3)BQT

- - - - - - - - - - - - - WORK - - - - - - - - - - - - -

2010-03-03T09:08:00.000-08:00

FEELING GUILTY
I KNOW WHAT I SHOULD DO
...TMR WILL BE BETTER FOR YOU...

2010-03-03T00:09:00.001-08:00

CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE
I'M LOST
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE SHOW ME THE WAY???

Have you ever had a time in your life where you need to make a life altering decision?

I have had many of these. But I have also suffered from other people’s terrible decision making…

You being the one who controls your own body comes across millions of decision’s a day, from what to eat, what to wear, how to do your hair, who to call…you get the idea. Well, what most of us do not realize..? With making a decision comes total responsibility. You have a choice, you come to that fork in the road, you make you decision, it is YOUR responsibilty, no matter you condition, you have complete control over your body.

So please, for every one’s sake, take on your responsibilty with making decision, and make sure you fully support your decision even after the fact. To be quite honest with y’all, I am sick and tired of hearing the same old crap of how “i had no control over myself!” you did, you chose, you lost, not my fault. I am sick of people not taking responsibilty over their decisions. Step up, be a man, and take the blame like a man, if need be.

2010-03-02T02:09:00.000-08:00

"Sometimes you have to be apart from people you love,But that doesn't mean you love them any less,Sometimes it even makes you love them more.

---(NICHOLAS SPARKS)---

A,
I'm Sorry

2010-02-27T10:17:00.000-08:00

Work from 5pm -11pm
Thought that today there's OT but there isn't:(

I don't feel tired at all
I feel like continue working my way through
I know that I'm not a machine but I do know my limits

I want to work and earn my own money
I want to feel how hard it is to earn money
I have to stop being spendthrif
I have to occupy myself be it work or other things to halt me from certain things

I want to spend more time with A
It's been a long time since just the 2 of us just chilled and catch up
I miss A so much
Meet up soon alright A

its (28/2, 2.50am)
and still I'm not sleepy
well i guess i listen to music and get some rest
till then

2010-02-25T09:37:00.001-08:00

Bad day to start out with
Eyes swollen and I guess I'm about to lose my voice soon

Couldn't sleep well this few days
Mind was else where
I felt non other than "Alone"

No work for me till "Sunday"
Am desperate to work
JOBS ANYONE???

2010-02-25T09:08:00.000-08:00

MOVIES THAT IT'S A MUST TO WATCH

2010-02-24T07:29:00.000-08:00

How's your day
How's the activities
Everything's going smoothly I guess???
Take care and have lots of fun @ the same time
Hydarate yourself with water
(25/2 12.27am)

Time flies
2 days passesby neither i can say quick nor slow
see you in a few hours i guess???
Hope that you alright
(26/2 2.01am)

I can't get in touch with you
Just wanna have somebody to chat with you are the only person I could think about
So I'm leaving you messages, hope that you return, you will see it...:)

2010-02-23T09:02:00.000-08:00

TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF WHEN YOU ARE AWAY FOR THIS FEW DAYS..:)(WL)

2010-02-21T00:28:00.000-08:00

MONEY IS TIME, TIME IS MONEY

Yesterday, was my first day of work @ OCC
I could say that things turn out pretty well and pretty tired

KIASU is word that could describe the aunties

Always want to be first

Especially taking the food and pay

Work for a total of 6 hours

Earn $36

Though it was little, I would continue to work for more days next week even OT

More money coming into my pocket

1 job down 1 more to go

Hope that I could get the lenovo job

2010-02-21T00:21:00.000-08:00

I MISS MY LONG HAIR

SAY HELLO TO MY SHORT HAIR

2010-02-20T23:05:00.000-08:00

Somethings are just not meant to be the way we always wanted

Somethings are better when voiced out, knowing how someone think/feel towards

Couldnt help but agree with you that different people have different perception
Guess both of us are kinda similar
We tend to think alot

2010-02-18T09:44:00.000-08:00

Haven't blog for quite some time
Many things have happen
Both Happy and Sad times

I know that I should be responsible to tell you where my whereabouts
Sometimes I just afraid to face you and tell you in person knowing that you wont allow
But I just want you to know that, Don't be worry for me.
I am still the same old me
(D)

I'm apologising to you because of what my aunt had told you about christianity
Please do not take it too hard alright???
Once again I apologise....I'M SORRY:(

Hope to get a job soon
at least 2 jobs
so that there's money coming into my pocket

Till then...

A - ITY

2010-02-10T20:03:00.000-08:00

Losing someone whom you treasure is the most difficult time of life
If only I could turn back time and prevent this from happening
I know that in a relationship/friendship or the person who you really treasure
Communication & Trust is the most important

I've lost people whom i treasure and close to me along the way
Right now, the person I've got is only you

I'M SORRY AND I PROMISED NOT TO DO IT AGAIN

Basically I can't say anything that will make you trust me again
Probably a time out for me and only time will tell
We may not see each other as we did before, or confide in each other
I know if i had a problem you'll be there for me

LIKE I'VE SAID, I WILL BE THERE 24/7 FOR YOU
JUST A CALL/MESSAGE, I WILL BE THERE FOR YOU IN A SECOND

2010-02-10T13:16:00.001-08:00

Why of all such things it happen so sudden
I know what I did to you may have hurt you
Right now you find it hard whether to trust me or not
I really don't know what to do
I really need you by my side
All I ask is for another chance

Why do you keep chasing me away???
It feels that you want me out of your life
Now that you are not giving me the attention like before
I really feel hurt like a thousand arrows just came piercing through my heart

How can I say???
Say that I will be ok???
And if I fall through this days that goes by without cause
just a painful mistakes have left me here on my own
And if i fall through this nights can seem to go on
Just a sign that you with me give me the strength to hold on

It's funny how much heart just wont let it go
I just dont understand
Its crazy how this pain seems to overflow
the memories of you here with me by myside

Now that the lines been broken
I'm too afraid to just look back
The pages have left an empty space
You were all I had
Why is it have to be this way???
I really hope that thing would be the same as last time

2010-02-07T04:57:00.000-08:00

Expectation does not equal to reality
I can't expect things to turn out the way I want in reality
Give it our best cause I shouldn't live life with regret

Don’t know where to start
Something ain’t going right
Feel it in my soul cause I’ve tried
Try to keep you satisfied
I just think we all need time
I just feel that we aren’t in the same room
But live in two worlds apart

I realise that you can’t be there when I fall
I keep lying to myself that you were the one but I guess it’s not
Everyday life goes on like this
I wish I could talk to you for a while
I wish I could find a way not to cry
Maybe our character’s not compatible and it’s hard for both to communicate properly

2010-02-03T03:31:00.000-08:00

There are times and seemingly overwhelming situations that I find myself in when letting go is still a process

To this very day, there are still times when a wall of shame and anxiety crashes on top of me. But as with everything else, I deal with it as best as I can and it passes. Through time, a lot of work and maturity I see my past for what it was not. And for what I believe it still is.

My past will always be a part of me. But it’s only a part, a very small fraction of my entire life. When I look at it that way it helps.

Sometimes you just have to go back and reclaim your self-worth. Maybe you have to dig deep to retrieve what you once lost.

If you dont' give those who care a chance to care for you , you will make them sad. Imagine if I were to lock myself up in sadness. How would you feel???

(M.E)

(IS IT TRUE???)

How can I accept it???

Can we change things that are not within our control???

W.T.M.L.

2010-01-27T08:06:00.000-08:00

Efforts may seem unusual and maybe not all that popular or all that cool or “nouveau”, or what some folks wish to hear: however, in that role you’re there to help

If there is something you can do, do it! If you’ve got something to state, state it. Think with your head, speak from your heart. Nine times out of ten, even those who don’t agree with your position, methods, actions or words should at least respect your having the guts to try to make things better. And if they do not, well, to heck with them – it wouldn’t have mattered anyway.

What does matter is applying yourself to the best of your abilities, and you can do so only by ridding yourself of stupid, worthless, esteem sucking, needless clots of crap and stopping them from further accumulating in life.

2010-01-23T20:26:00.000-08:00

The one thing that pains me to no end is when an element from my past, something that occurred still dominates every facet of your life, causing shame and misery as well as sucking all the esteem and ambition out of my life

If there is something you can do, do it! If you’ve got something to state, state it. Think with your head, speak from your heart. Nine times out of ten, even those who don’t agree with your position, methods, actions or words should at least respect your having the guts to try to make things better. And if they do not, well, to heck with them – it wouldn’t have mattered anyway.

What does matter is applying yourself to the best of your abilities, and you can do so only by ridding yourself of stupid, worthless, esteem sucking, needless clots of crap and stopping them from further accumulating in life.

2010-01-21T19:34:00.000-08:00

To be quite frank , it's sad.
Or to be perfectly blunt, it's pathetic.
It's just plain pitiful how folks spend more time and energy deflecting or holding out the hope that someone,anyone,will save them from themselves.

I guess that I'm the type who can only function by depending on others?
I just can't seem to get over an "issue"

Is it safer to remain in "cocoon"???
The "cocoon" of "Help me, Help me"
The cocoon of shame, insecurity, hatred, fear or lack of guts to summon the courage to take that plunge, that step beyond "Whatever"

2010-01-17T17:35:00.000-08:00

I just can't face the truth now that we driften away
Getting drunk isn't the solution for problems
I apologise for getting drunk and giving you guys a hard time
Thanks Wei liang for piggyback me, Eileen, Joanne and Nat for taking care of me...:)

I feel very insecure when the past keeps haunting me

I believe lives won't change
Hoping that someday things will mend
And be the same...

I have lost it and all that's left to gain
Is a simple reminder that the things that were
Blind to slip away...
What can I say...
Say I'll be okay?

And if I fall
That go by without cause
Just a painful mistake has left me
Here on my own
I can't seem to go on
Just a sign that you're with me gives me the
Strength to hold on
(A)

Now that the line's been broken
I'm too afraid to just look back
The pages have left an empty space
You were all I had
Why does it have to be this way?
things, they'll never change
Still I'm left with knowing, content and happy
This is all I need

2010-01-15T21:35:00.000-08:00

Moments of life are measured and treasure

Life is shared in laughter and love.

Love comes from the peaceful bliss of just being together.

* * *

It is a special event ... a moment to last- forever

and the same ... yet far apart in years

but, still connected in the cycle of life.

* * *

Ever after to be remembered

As a sunset too soon!

And yet, treasured as a sunshine of love!

* * *This is why dreams become memories of love

(( Is That true ?? ))

2010-01-15T20:22:00.000-08:00

Life can be taken away in an instant.Enjoy it before the lights turns out.

If one have high expectation
One will often be disappointed and hurt
Give without expecting returns
Life will be easier that way
(M.E)

Certain relationship are very taxing,
very difficult to maintain even though you really want it
Give it your best because you shouldn't live life with regrets
But when it's time to let go, you must do it.
(M.E)

I feel very useless, when I can't do much for you
(A)

2 days of excruciating pain
Problems just came crashing down on you
Like thousands of arrows pierce through
Like a town that has been submerge by water

Welcome to my life

Till Then

2010-01-12T20:05:00.000-08:00

They say there are no accidents
Sometimes reality comes crashing into us
Other times, it dawns on us slowly, despite our best efforts to ignore it.

Life’s been hard
Having reasons for my weird behaviour, adapt with the new life, environment and problems at homes.
It’s all crashing down on me .
I hope that its just the matter of time for everything to go back to the way it used to.

2010-01-10T19:30:00.000-08:00

The feelings is getting stronger as it comes
I know that there's no point avoiding but to face it

Am I such a coward???
Why do things keep troubling me???
Don't know what to do
Don't know who to turn to
I am nothing but trouble ...Aren't I???

I know that I made a few mistakes
But never thought that things would turn out this way
Cause I'm missing something now that your gone

If only time could take away
The truth that lies beneath this pain
It brings me back to what I'd hope for this to be
But here and now I'm on my own
I've lost the will to carry on
Will someone shine a light to guide me home

What was left behind. You know I tried
I tried to save this face
But here and now I'm on my own
For I have walked this road alone

This life seems meaningless
Unspoken words can't convey
I can't move on anyway
I can't hide behind what I don't know
Have I lost it all?

2010-01-08T12:35:00.000-08:00

Time is 4.35am, saturday morning
Another sleepless night I guess
I can't get to sleep
I really hate this feeling...this feeling is indescribable

The bad dream I had
The fear of losing you
I just really feel insecure
I do not want to lose you because I've lost someone already

Alright I guess I better try to get some rest, its already 5.15am
Tmr will be a long and boring day for me...:(

2010-01-07T05:45:00.000-08:00

In the years to come
Will you think about these moments that we shared
In the years to come
Are you gonna think it over
And how we lived each day with no regrets
Nothing lasts forever though we want it to
The road ahead holds different dreams for me and you

Sometimes goodbye though it hurts in your heart is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye though it hurts is the only way now for you and me
Though its the hardest thing to say
I'll miss your love in every way
So say goodbye
But don't you cry
Because a true love never dies

To A
No matter how they look at you at one kind or unhappy with you
I've made my decision
I would give them up

You have my word

Rmb you are the TOP _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

with a _ _ _ _ _ _ on top

TO B and S:
I'm glad that you B and S are enjoying in their new school Made quite a number of friends didn't you both???
Just wanna wish you all the best, study hard both of you...alright???

2010-01-06T06:53:00.000-08:00

It just keeps coming back isn't it???

Why did it happened on me???
Why is the pass coming back to haunt me???
I'm sick and tired of playing
I've gotten my punishment, what's more???
I don't know if I could take another blow

Why do I have this thought that
I can't seems to do things right
I feel pretty useless

A thnks for being there and a sweetheart:)

2010-01-03T05:48:00.000-08:00

1st Jan

Thnks for celebrating my bdae:)
Wei liang gave me a leather bracelet with my name and my bdae engraved
(I truely loved it:) )
Thnks for the dinner, movie, starbucks and everything

Remember I still owe you a Big meal which will be coming soon(Its a deal and a promise)
I truely had a great time...:)

Why do time have to pass so fast when one is enjoying???
I wished that I could stop time

A, I really wanna thnk you for everything
There's alot of things that I wanna thnk you
Can I give you a Big fat hug???

GGG, Thnks for the picture albums
It brings back memories, the time we had together
no matter what happens, you guys are still in my heart
no matter what school we are in, I hope that we could meet up Once a week???
If you guys are reading it, Please tag my board to reply:)

I'M SCARE OF LOSING YOU
I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU

TO A and B
I treasure you and love you
Please rmb to take care of youself
I will always be there for you no matter what

2010-01-03T05:35:00.000-08:00

2010-01-01T23:39:00.000-08:00

31st Jan

Lunch with Hui min, Shelyn, Wen Ting, Tessa, Lesden @ cineleisure Jap buffet
Thnks for the gifts,the treat and neo prints:)

Took lots of pictures using Tessa DSL
Chilled @ Starbucks with the girls
Had Caramel Macchiato(hot drink) thumbs up:)

We decided to take picture but had no idea...end up taking at 313
Each of us took turns to ask people to take a pictures for us

Heed back home
Mood wasnt that good...was feeling down
Decided not to countdown but claudia(cousin) who didnt have plans came all the way to yishun wanting to celebrate my bdae...so I took her to wen chieh aunts place for count down

After wen chieh place, heed over to Wei Liang place for mahjong
Brought Claudia along since i have to send her home
Mahjong was only a short while but i won a dollar
Decided to stay over @ Wei Liang's Crib and heed out the next day:)

MORE PICTURES AND UPDATE COMING YOUR WAY

2010-01-01T07:50:00.000-08:00

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY TO ME:)

HELLO 2010

WILL BE UPDATING SOON:)

2009-12-27T20:35:00.000-08:00

SENTOSA TRIP
ABLE TO MEET UP WITH B, S and A

MORE PICTURES COMING SOON:)

23rd outing with J and her cousin's to see christmas lightings:)

Miss B and Mr C

Adorable Akmal:)

MORE PICTURES TO COME:)

We make our own fortunes, and then call them fate.
And what better excuse to choose a path than to insist it’s our destiny?
But at the end of the day, we all have to live with our choices no matter who’s looking over our shoulder.

2009-12-26T19:53:00.001-08:00

WILL BE UPDATING SOON:)

2009-12-21T17:41:00.000-08:00

DON'T YOU ALL LOVE CHRISTMAS???

3 MORE DAYS TO THE FESTIVE SEASON

AREN'T YOU GUYS EXCITED???

24/12 - Eve of christmas - attending mid night mass with miss eng

25/12 -Christmas gathering held @ Godfather house(mimosa terrace)

2009-12-21T17:27:00.000-08:00

On the 14th met up with Cousin who is back in singapore - Louisa

Heed over to Marina barage for steamboat with her and family & grandma

Catch up quite a lot with her since the last time I saw her(about 4 -5 years)

After dinner they decided to drive along orchard road to see the christmas lightings
after that I drop of at dhoby ghaut and heed back home

Even though the time is short

But I had a great time catching up with her

Gonna miss her since she's currently staying at Australia...

COME BACK OFTEN FOR A VISIT:)

2009-12-19T05:00:00.000-08:00

HEY B
I KNOW YOU DID WHAT YOU COULD...YOU TRIED...
JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU...:)

2009-12-18T14:34:00.000-08:00

They say there are no accidents
Sometimes reality comes crashing into us
Other times, it dawns on us slowly, despite our best efforts to ignore it.

2009-12-09T06:49:00.000-08:00

Life is full of surprises and mystic things
It's forever changing and takes new turns

The best way to go through it is with a smile

The perfect way to live it is with someone by your side

Not just anyone will do they have to be special

Someone who makes you want to wake up

To do anything you can to be better
Who makes you know you're already awesome

But you still want to reach for the stars just for them

In the end you will find the comfort

Of being you and knowing it will never matter what you do

To be comfortable in your own skin

And know no matter what happens

There will always be love waiting for you when it's done

On the worse day of your life grabbing their hand makes it right

To face whatever is ahead

And knowing when you get home they're waiting

When you miss them as soon as they walk out the door

And when they come home they know they're adored

That's the feelings of life I love

And will cherish each one cause you never know

Tomorrow it could be no more

Always the greatest fear is waking up without you here

2009-12-09T06:37:00.001-08:00

Doing the right thing really takes courage and strength
And the things that you have been going through right now in life is only making it difficult by not having someone by your side

I hate it
1)When I cannot make my own decisions
2)When my life is going down through lots of hell
3)When I’m unsure with the decisions I’ve made
4)I’m stuck in this situation and there’s nothing I can do about it
5)I'm feeling very disappointed with myself

Please take care of yourself and be safe A

2009-12-06T05:46:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it’s the truth that you’ve been trying not to face or the truth that will change your life.
Sometimes it’s the truth that is a long time coming or the truth you prayed would never see the light of day.
Some truth may not be heard that way we hope they would, but they linger after what they’ve been said.
But the kind of truth I’m most thankful for the one you never see coming that falls right into your lap

2009-12-03T21:25:00.000-08:00

Having a bad flu this past 2 days
FUCK THE FLU THAT I'M HAVING

Met up with Rachelle yesterday after studying

It's been months since we last met up with one another

Like usual, there's a lot of catching up as usual & taking pics...

TO BE CONTINUE...

2009-12-02T02:12:00.000-08:00

I can't help to agree with B
Life is indeed spells BEAUTIFOOL!!!

TO AUD:
Put yourself in his position
All he need is recognition
Love's not enough when you say it
Don't you know you've gotta mean it
Screwin up the best thing ever
Is something you'll regret forever
Take him and make sure he feels it
Let him know you'll never let him go

TOLD YOU SO...

See you chose this road

So you gotta go it alone

Remember I told you so

Cause lately it seems

Distance between us growing too wide.
I'm so afraid that you're saying it's over

The last thing that I wanna hear

But if your heart's not in it for real

Please don't try to fake what you don't feel

I’m sick and tired of this silly game

I’m not the only one here to blame

it’s not me who’s been going round slamming doors

2009-11-28T18:51:00.000-08:00

Growing up means one thing

INDEPENDENT

We all want it

Sometimes we use other people to try to get it for ourselves

Sometime we find in each other
Sometimes our independent comes at the cost of something else and that cost can be high
Because more often or not, in order to gain our independence,
We have to fight
Never give up
Never surrender

2009-11-28T18:25:00.000-08:00

Sometimes's after the curtain close that the real reckoning comes

Whether is about who we wish we were

Who we wish we could be

Who we want to be with

2009-11-26T00:06:00.000-08:00

Sometimes its hard to see the lines we've drawn
until we cross them
that's when we rely on the ones we love to pull us back
and give something to hold on to

then there are the clearly marked lines
the ones if you dare cross
you may never find your way back

to be continue...

2009-11-24T05:10:00.000-08:00

Got the piano score Taeyang - Wedding Dress :)
I'm so obsessed with this song
Played this song together @ the library together with Wei Liang
He played the left hand, I played the right
Although, it doesnt sound perfect, we manage to get the hang out of it

My Aim is to complete this song and able to play for A

Like all good things, the witching hour must come to an end

Through nature are revealed, tricks turn into treats

and taking off costumes is as much fun as putting on

Everything return to the way it was

Except people tend to forget that Halloween last for one night

Wearing costumes for so long that they can't even remember

who they were before putting them on

2009-11-23T03:33:00.000-08:00

Overall, life been crazy.
Alot has been happening and everything seem
so different right now
I never knew my life would turn out this way,
thought that leaving the past keep going forward
would make me happier but after realisation,
I kinda miss the good old times
(Extracted from B's)

I'm down with a Sore throat for 2 days
Argh, its killing me
Hope I will get better

To N and J
Thinking too much when you are alone is bad for health
Just know that no matter what, you are blessed cause you have friends and family who love you to bits
That's includes me!
Live your life and be happy for us.
(Message from N)

To be continue...

2009-11-21T19:42:00.001-08:00

TREASURE AND LOVE ALWAYS A & M

Morning Readers:

It's been a while since I last update

Things I did yesterday
1. Cafe Iguana(Sarah's Birthday)
2. Sending Wen Chieh off to the airport(Terminal 3)

A tiring/sleepless night indeed
I can't get to sleep because I'm having a really bad sore throat
Throats kinda irritating
I think its because of the alcohol I drank
A shots of (Mint Chocalate) and few glasses of margarita(Strawberry/Peach)

So right after Cafe Iguana,
Heed down to Sarah's place to crash
Watched 2 movies & order MacDonald since all of us were famished

Left her Crib and heed to the airport to send Wen Chieh off
She's going to Japan for a month
Damn, thats long
GGG will miss her alot, especially B, R & N

I did 3 similar necklaces for 3 of them(Hope you like it guys!)

Hey A,
Just wondering
How did your presentation went???
It's kinda weird not meeting/catching up with you
Lunch on tuesday, how about that???

Things hasn't been working out for me
Couldn't contact M this few days
All I think about A and M
Both of you are always on my mind
TREASURE & LOVE ALWAYS

2009-11-20T21:46:00.000-08:00

BON VOYAGE WEN CHIEH
Leaving for Japan for a month today till 22 December
That's really long
All I can say is to enjoy your stay there, have fun...:)

2009-11-18T08:16:00.000-08:00

This songs really brings back memories
Goo Goo Dolls - Iris

Sitting at the steps of Singapore river
hearing this song Iris played from the bar
It made me think alot and I start to break down

I'm feel that I'm all alone
there's no one there for me at that moment

There's no one else to blame but myself
I should'nt have say those words
I'm Sorry

There's a saying "Once bitten twice shy"
Meaning that I shan't repeat the same mistakes
Being understanding towards you

2009-11-17T02:25:00.000-08:00

Feeling pretty uneasy right now

Whenever I'm alone, I think alot (as usual)

I'm so bored and need someone by my side

Busy with your stuff and I totally understand

I top up my prepaid card specially because of A

Thought that things would be the same as last time

Having the chance to text & call

things that I have keeping inside of me

I feel rather awful...just wanna let it out once and for all

I dont know how to be fine when I'm not

I don't know how to make this feeling stop

This feeling is taking control of me and I can't help it

It's getting hard to be around _ _ _ _

There's so much I can't say

Do you want me to hide the feelings and look the other way???

Looking back I realize

It was always there just never spoken